CONSTELLATION*

de_vogue @ 2007-06-17T23:03:00

2007-06-17T15:11:18Z

changed blog to..

http://de-vogue.blogspot.com

loves to LJ

COOKS DAY!

2007-06-16T09:34:21Z

a lil of my sis photos...

done some cooking today! so crazy... my sister helped out...
photos & video inside.... hope it turns out fine.. (:

FIRST YOU DIP YOUR HAND TO TRY WHETHER ITS NICE.... (SWEETS*)

TESTING TESTING

A SATISFIED FACE (:

de_vogue @ 2007-06-15T23:00:00

2007-06-15T15:01:28Z

ONLY HOPE - mandy moore

There's a song that's inside of my soul
it's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I’m awake in the infinite cold
but you sing to me over and over and over again

Chorus:
So I lay my head back down
and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
when it feels like my dreams are so far
sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again

Chorus

I give you my destiny
I’m giving you all of me
I want your symphony
singing in all that I am
at the top of my lungs
I'm giving it back

Chorus:
So I lay my head back down
and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

mmmmmmm ooooooooooooooooo

o

2007-06-14T15:39:11Z

O dear souls,
PRAY FOR THE LEG!!!!!

oh oh oh. my pimples are so finally recovering. can u imagine the bimbo happiness im recieving... im gonna be pimply-free... yay!
hops around....

and i finally finish with my photo blog.....
like finally.....its a sucess... becase it took such a long time, i listened to the SHE cd in my laptop thrice... tell me about it...
i sat on the chair till my spine is gonna bend and be very flexible really soon.
oh. so next time.. you secret people who think my photos are sacarstically artistic won;t get to see it anymore... nothing is gonna entertain your silly minds on how much its taking the space... oh and too bad, im not publicising my photo blog here...
more random photos will be up here.... (:

like this:

if any of you totally doesnt know that i paint my nails already blue. shame on you friends...
well, pardon to those who i have long missed... people like samantha choo, jasmine....etc..
i can't think of names now...

for now, thats all......
before the spine really becomes flexible

de_vogue @ 2007-06-12T23:01:00

2007-06-12T15:17:12Z

seriously, im like very reluctant to blog this post...
but whatever... pictures will be up below....
i can't be bothered to upload any of portfolio pictures... since SOME of u think its my "ARTISTIC" photos.... its like whatever. people who don't understand anything of the visual world WON'T HELL UNDERSTAND.. all you can come up is some stupid sacarstic remarks that test my patience...

WTH*.

ok..nvrm
there was some things that sunshine said on the train that made me feel all over.. like shit... sorry i can't express any of my strianed emotions just so easily in front of anyone... but it really hit....
a friend...
hah*.
no harsh feeling... but what has a trust in a friend...

might better of be a fiend.

sun im not angry with u.just better to be honest

another reason why i can't be bothered to blog.. is.. judgment.
judgement judgement judgment.
ain't it just the thing to display how meaningless a human heart can be...
i hate sorry and hate to be sorry for anything...

smiles in a photos are vague;
because everyone smiles in a photos.
whatever lies beneathe those mask aren't discovered.
cause its hidden in a heart of maze

photos...

TIFF AND STEPH at some random tp bench. while waiting fpr tiff friend to arrive. apparently it was a long wait. tiff is prettier with her bangs... seriously!

at sakae with steph.. the buffet. (:

billys with steph... she took it.

i don't really do captions... yah....

not gonna say anymore of myself... its not self gratifying...
and why leak so much of youself.. when u don;t want some people to read it....
i have emotions too....
too bad...

im going out with steph tomorrow again.
i think we're obsessed with each other....

im struggling with some doubts in my spiritual life again.
should pray!

i don't fancy apologies

de_vogue @ 2007-06-08T00:21:00

2007-06-07T16:22:35Z

BEN JELEN- COME ON

And finally the silence,
looking out
looking back across the sky,
Trying to find a meaning,
knowing that I just left it all behind
Still I smell a lingering softness
Where did she go,
how did she go,
I wanna
I wanna know
I wanna know that she'll be coming
here to me

Come on,
without you
I'll never feel the love inside of me
Come On, you know that we belong
come on, come on, come on, come on

Thinking back before her,
I never knew the meaning of alone
Still the flag is feeling foreign,
I live the day to escape into a phone
Speaking of a world not real then
where did she go
how did she go,
I wanna
I wanna know
I wanna know that she'll be coming
here to me

Come on,
without you
I'll never feel the love inside of me
Come On, you know that we belong
come on, come on, come on, come on

Cause each of her kisses and my heart misses . . .
She's coming,
She's coming here to me,
I'm needing,
desiring to kiss her now,
I'm living for her,
breathing for her,
singing for her fairytale.

Come on,
without you
I'll never feel the love inside of me
Come On, you know that we belong
come on, come on, come on, come on

Come on,
without you
I'll never feel the love inside of me
come on, come on, come on, come on
Come on

whoa!

2007-06-04T15:09:13Z

WHOA PEOPLE!
Im back.. im so not dead...
duh-DUH

the term test is this week...
like how crazy lah!.
ok!... but raq is out to try her best.
GUESS WHAT!
i was late for both my papers today..
long long story... but its certainly madness. and the letcture hall i went into is like sauna!!! 100+ people in a lecture hall, breathing the same air..etc..
and what happen?
the aircon spoiled or something...
its so hot u see people outrageously fanning themselves while seating for a paper... who knows whether they are thinking..
cause im one of the few 'kiasu' than fan myself so hard, i can't think...
CAN U IMAGINE the immense temperature... we were almost baked...!

-_-

LAST saturday i went out with wenxin.
hahaha! this is just for the record...
no further elaboration

i told myself im gonna set a new web for all my photos... but im too slow to get on it..
oh my.

LG is having is competition. photography competition..!!!!!
im taking part if i have any inspiration or photos... till now, i don't have a thing in the brain.
better to focus on te term test right?

im gonna go sleep now.
sleeping pills are starting to make me drowsy!

RAQ SHALL NOT BE LATE FOR EXAM TOMORROW!!!....

we rock the show, we rock the show

AFTER HOURS is playing on teevee now (:

i might change my blog again... when im not lazy........
more privacy....

de_vogue @ 2007-05-27T19:11:00

2007-05-27T11:12:22Z

photobucket take so long to load...
):

my right arm is so soar. i don't know why. its not muscle ache!...

the most fantastic thing that happened today was... i walked home frm Temasek Poly today.
i know... i totally have no idea what i was doing and how far my house is to actually WALK BACK HOME... took 1 hour and a bit more...
and i got blisters. HOW INSANE!.

anyways, reach home, rested.. and i went NTUC to buy groceries to make salad.. fruit&veg salad.. such a success.. but im so fullED by it...
-_-

btw, i joined visual central (photography club). everything is so unsure... i don't even know how long i could stay there.. nicholas chan joined VC too.... he seemed SO enthusiastic about it..but..
you know... the total workload of school for me, having a slow processing brain.. is very difficult...so. i'll only get serious with a cca maybe next year..

BTW, these are some of the photos i send in for my portfolio.
(tell me about it)

(the last 2 is my fav)

studied for about 1 hour just now.... well, it was productive.
but a bit... still too slow...goodness... i total don't want to feel any regrets on the choice i make to enter this course.
HOW SO EVER CRAZY!.
when nothing is digested, the lecturer start ingesting more info.

ok whatever...
im just carrying out my usual routine of whining and lamenting about everything....

last sunday night,
i totally couldn't fall asleep. so i ended up rolling around my bed till it was timed to go school.... despite the fact, actualy ate 4 sleeping pills....
monday with 2 sleeping pills made me sleep but feel drowsy the next morning...
i wonder when this ill treatment of popping sleeping pills will end..why can't i just naturally naturally just fall asleep....

i used to grin as i take a picture. but now it falls to a smile

ok.. im not emo or sad...
im just tired.. (:

i found some photos in my desktop!!
compare the photos of it now...

BEFORE

AFTER

THIS JUST PROVES THAT!....
..humans change..
im evolving...
like POKEMON....
pikachu to raichu... etc..

im so losing touch to my artistic side...
starts drawing straight lines with shivering hands***
im running out of ideas to what i can design...

today, as i walked pass design school in TP.. i thought about the years in school that i dreamt of being a student in design.... from interior to visual comm.. it was all when i was sec1 to sec4..
sec5 i aimed to go SAJC..
u know... when the results are out.
everything gets jumbled up and u totally become firm on the decision u are going to make that wil change ur life into another turn..
oh well, i thank those people who were there to give me advice and encourage me thru all my years in my secondary school.. its when i was in sec sch that i changed the most.. in my mentality and my spiritual being...
burst out in tears**
I MISS BEING IN A SECONDARY SCHOOL!!!!!!

ciaos for the night

de_vogue @ 2007-05-19T20:45:00

2007-05-19T12:58:38Z

there will be spiderman 2 broadcast on channel 5 tomorrow. YAY!
i HAVE t remember to watch it! (:

anyways, i had quite a few stuff to blog. but i totally can't remember what i actually wanted to blog...
i just forgot.

week4, last week. i had an overall of 3 test.
HUURAY, cause it is mind blasting...
as in literally MIND BLASTING!. i dun know what im writing.
-_-

i went for gb today. its a saturday remember...
went labrador park. the only reason why i can spell the parks' name is because...
LAB BRA DOOR park....
okay! what an ass...
i was starved for breakfast cause they went an hour plus walk around the historic park and finally after their singspiration and games... it was eating time..
deprive of sufficient food.
again when i was back to school after the excursion. waited for jami and ah teo to finish teaching drill while i sat in the sun as an act of moral support...(ay least i wasn't sleeping in the shades)... starved for lunched again...
because after it ended.. it was close to early dinner....
jami says : a hungry man is an angry man!.....
wth lah.!

chatted with mandy on the bus... well, its actually very appealing to me to open up myself to them and for them t tell me what they are going through. after thats the main reason why im back to serve... i want to serve God socially in GB...
like totally awesome...
i really can talk some sense sometimes (:

poly life is such a slack NOT!.
im getting totally sick of the dressing thing..
its like..... i can't be bothered to actually think of what to wear... u know... i think it takes more brian cells to think of what to wear that fially cause a huge head damage than to study for an O level exam.
HA HA HA

when i was bathing today,
i thought i saw cells on the floor which was actually bubbles...
how paranoid....!

anyways, i can't wait for term break to start.
its gonna be forever waiting..
argh!

ok whatever..
i wanna play SIMS2 now.. (:

ITS MOTHER'S DAY!

2007-05-13T13:52:15Z

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

bought my mom a slice of low fat mango cheesecake frm starbucks. she didn't want something redundant and expensive so after a whole long day of no ideas. i finally bought her a cake...
i can't think of what to get for my grandma ):
btw, my mom is delighted in the fact that its LOW FAT!
wanted to celebrate with a candle.. but all i have is those candle i play with my sis for lantern festival... guess it would cause some form of upset in the tummy..
HAHAHA!

rained so heavily today... i practically walked on water....

i havent done my homework. and much revision. there is 2 tests next week.... how how????

i finally collected my SHE cd... yay*
something to be so happy about...
smiles*****

visual central, this photography club, has this gathering on tuesday. its 6pm..
right after my whole day.. my brain draining day in school...
hope i survive....(:

and.... i finally know how to use the bluetooth in my laptop. FINALLY!!!!!
so after much editting to the poor phone camera function... im happy to present an addition to my portfolio.

my personal fav is the last one...
oh. loves**

IM OFF TO COMPLETE MY HOMEWORK!

i will make my boast in Christ alone

de_vogue @ 2007-05-09T20:51:00

2007-05-09T13:21:53Z

finally i finally uploaded all the class photos thing.
took llike 1.5 hours... how crazy!
everyone is so impatient to get the photos..

http://a7b9.blogspot.com

check it out if u want

service today....

2007-05-06T15:24:18Z

went for speedlight today.
ony until today than i found out about the joint speedlight service... so to say..
so we have alternate pastors every week
today was pastor pacer. Messages about the truth.
Pastor Pacer always speaks light. makes you totally evaluate on your life again and you'll altogether want to feel complete in God.
He has so uch energy in his msg can.
...

worship today was rather new..
they changed worship leader. but well, i come to learn that in worship its not about who is leading... but who is leading THE FLOW IN WORSHIP...which is the Holy Spirit.
im talking so much light
but well, i really couldn't hear and differentiate the voices, it seemed soft and muffled..
i don't know...

than was lunch.
carol got pissed with the noodles stall uncle AGAIN and she said.. CB..
which.... im totally speechless in words and thoughts...
well, afterall, i didn't know her to be a person who shoots anger when she's pissed...
if its the new environment in NYP she is getting. than its all the more weirder, cause we shouldn't let others influence us in a negative way..
am i right to say so...?

ok... enought abt it...
went billy bombers with jac... drank the heavenly lemon shake..
so nice.
than went her house to get games and shows...
than home...

did my homework.
er...... i don't know how to do maths LAH!....
i stare at it and laugh to myself cause i dont understand the question...
HAHAHAHA!.
lucky there is tutorial tomorrow..
bomb the lecturer with qns.....

thats all.... night...!

p.s.> need to cut the fats......

father FATHER!

2007-05-03T15:03:33Z

if you have faith in the Father,
which rock have you plant this faith in.?

this was what came into my mind while i was in the showers... the fact that many has come to know Christ, not knowing which rock they place their ultimate trust might sometimes be the reason why backsliding is so common... why feeling so helpless and hopeless when u know that there is a God around...?
maybe it is because the foundation we lay on is not on God but of things in the world..
like friends.... etc.

well, now i have to find my ROCK OF SALVATION!
the saviour of all the broken and weak....

AMEN!

p.s.> now i know what it is to commit all to the Lord... (:
_

hahah.. its so rare that i blog holy now a days..

de_vogue @ 2007-05-02T12:14:00

2007-05-02T04:16:52Z

im in the coolest library blogging now... omg.. TP LIBRARY!!!!!!!!!
TP computer.. YANI has her own laptop LAH!.......
but she can't connect.... poor soul*

hearing on youtube the SHE songs...
omg..
screams like bimbo*
the songs are so fabulous, fantastic....
im so cheena.. but i don't care, not as though i dun listen to english songs....
thinking about the fact that i already bought the pre-sale for their album...
i get more excited....
screams like bimbo again**
SHE vocal is mind blowing to me......!!
(:

ok.. theres nothing to really roam around in the net...
so boring...
lucky they have youtube!

ITS LABOUR DAY!!!! YAY*

2007-05-01T13:16:04Z

.muahaahah :d

2007-04-30T14:18:51Z

GUESS WHAT!.
today while attempting to transfer all my photos to my laptop...
i saw some super funny pictures...
of all.... i saw how nerdy sunshine actually looked.... how awkward it is t see audrey in specs...etc
SO FUNNY LAH!
will be posting it up some days..

now im blogging with my laptop... its so weird.. i keep hitting the caplocks button or ursor somewhere....

anyways, im trying to print my lecture and tutorial notes..
i press the print button and a blank paper comes out. and i press again, 2 blank papers come out from the printer... tell me something is wrg... cause this printer is newly bought for all the printing...
in a way, save any inconvenience of needing to go the it lab to print, cause they require certain GSM paper. and u provide ur own paper......etc.....
ACTUALLY IM JUST LAZY!
...and i just realise..
i don't know how to print lecture notes in the powerpoint form...

OMG!

i must have been some super rich tai tai in my past life can. everything also don't know how to do....

_

oh! people!....
i have like officialy stop taking sleeping pills to sleep..
cause every school day is so crazy.. and when i come home i dun even feel like studying....
i naturally fall asleep....
but i take a while... i think i took an hour to sleep now....
how i wish i have a little of jasmin's sleeping habits... she sleeps SUPER FAST.. even in lectures!!!!!!!!!!
just close eye and she is asleep....

im sitting at the balcony now blogging, facing the window where i see a dark sky that holds heavy clouds... so im thinking...
..what i am actually thinking tha makes me think....

okay whatever. a sudden surge of feeling emo...

comms skills today was like super funny.
everyone paired and did this one minute skit. i did with valencia...
hahhaa... so fun....
skits are always very nervousing....and when u start having fun, u lose the main points and go totally out of point!.
hahah. thats what happen to our pair.

..so there was no lab today.. therefore a 4 hour break.
went with the class to eat 24h roti prata store in between TP and SHSS..super slow service lah!. and i ate for the sake of eating... no appetite once again....
after eating... went back to school. me val and jas.. went to the TP library (which is like uber cool in all the wonderful facilities) AND did we just started to love to do.....
watch dvd! they actually have a level just to watch dvds.....
okay. i know.. i am sounding like a total FRESHIE!..

...rested at jupiter cafe ..

..went to library to borrow a book..

went to busstop!
guess what i saw my primary school classmate.
oh well,i already knew he was frm TP... just very surprised that i actually saw him again...no dramatic gestures...it was BARNABAS !!!!in primary school, HE was the person that sat in between me and marcus because the teacher thought we were too noisy....but when barnabas joined me and marcus, we got even noisier... so the seting arrangment changed...
barnabas-raquel-marcus...(they have a tradition that girls will keep guys shut-but it was ALL WRG!)
played like kids though i can't really remember.... but had super fun times together.
He was the boy last time that ate paper because he was too hungry....
omg! barnabas!!!
something good is.. he actually remembered my name....
RAQUEL!!!!!!
yay********

ok. trivial things makes me really happy...

i saw federick in school also.. my other primary school friend... i think p1 to p4...p5 he went EM1 class....
he actually recognises me in TP too...walao.. i thought i had grown all too much fat to be even recognizable... wth!
federick is the guy that hosted for the TP regata..my jaw dropped when i heard it..
like omg!...well, it sounds full of pride when u can host..
WAH!.. blown away*

...etc..

im blogging like some premature blogger.. they talk about their whole day.
their whole life in a day..
their whole life in every minute and second..
HAH!..

ok... bye now......

i saw estee at church

2007-04-29T12:56:47Z

i saw estee at church today!
i saw estee at church today!
i saw estee at church today!
i saw estee at church today!
i saw estee at church today!
i saw estee at church today!
i saw estee at church today!
i saw estee at church today!
i saw estee at church today!
i saw estee at church today!

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! ..

*starts getting all drama!!!*

-----------

ANYWAYS, canoe-polo sms-ed me about the trial today!.
what if the trial is AS crazy as canoe......??
i think its gonna be so impossible for me... if it is.... than im like totally wasting all my time....!!!! so.. im gonna ask nicholas whats the trial like!!!!
thing is... i dun have his number...
-_-

oh wells, i can always join some club and think about a sport cca next year.
HAH!. afterall, i don't see a lot of science school student joining a sport....
WHY WHY WHY?

tomorrow school starts again. all over again!
dreads*

...and..
my dad wanna take my comp alway.. since i have a laptop... sad xia!

still sick

2007-04-28T09:36:03Z

i hate having a block nose, itchy throat.
can't practise singing.....
):
so sad!

i haven't yet start ALL the homework yet.
revised only...
HOW?

XIA LA!.
i really want to sing.
sing sing sing!...
but my voice sucks.

went for the trial for canoe. im too weak xia..
start with 3 rounds of warm up.
than 4 rounds.....
i went for the 3 rounds but came out after 2 rounds. TELL ME SINCE WHEN I EVER RUN???
my last year of school, i practically skipped and ponned all my PE lessons. got a NIL for NAPFA because i got admitted to hospital...
Accidentally bump into nicholas in the bus, so we went the trial together. He got into the team... i backed out. what a loser i know. LOSER LOSER.
anyway, the training looks altogether crazy. i guess i can swim better than i run.
i run for stamina and not for speed. so loser raq.!
nicholas say join OGL (orientation leader) can get a lot of points... so i probably go join that...
try out for Visual central.. just go a few times.
go for swimming trial just for fun (not really intending to join unless im in main team)
see how for ASc..
go for badminton or vb trial if they call me....

overall, this cca thing sucks la...
why do we need points to go uni.!!!???
okay.. whatever.. im so complaining again!....

training for canoe is also on saturday, even if i made it to main team...
i can't even GO!...

ANYWAY, my laptop is here...!
got it.
but the look of it gives me stress... cause im going to settle all the science thing there....
but welll, very thankful for my parents for buying it...
LOVE YA!!!!!

i held the mic today, and i sound like shit because im sick

btw, week 1 is over...
i actually survived it!...
but when other weeks arrive, im gonna die... everything has to be independent living.. u print your lecture notes yourself, homework yourself.....etc.
somemore i so blur.

ok. i have nothing to blog...
congrats to nic for getting into canoe MAIN TEAM!.
claps*

I THINK IM SO FAT!

2007-04-26T14:37:33Z

random subject!
tiff commented that i look like i put on weight.
ashraf commented i look chubbier!.
omg! im getting all paranoid NOT... a bit though...
all in today 5A art students dinner with gopal thing at bedok some hawker centre!... saw shss people there, and even ASc people there....
SUCH A COINCIDENCE!....
dinner there... didn't have the appetite all over again.. its so getting into me that im wasting food cause i have no appetite. something is so wrg with my tongue.!
well, in fact, i have no idea why i look fat and lose 1 kg.
ALL WOMAN FACE THE SAME STUPID WEIGHT PROBLEM THINGEY!

anyway, friendster has this comment system..
and it has become something that excites me so much. whoa!!!!
wave hands in the air**
i like to write others comment and i love recieving comments...
yay**
friendster sounds so passe. but who cares..
im lovin' it!

lecture today was all rounder a KILLER.
i toook so long to get everything into my brain. to understand everything...
omg...
ages and ages....
imagine every lecture, the same thing happens.... gonna be like shiat pls.....

BTW, jasmin and VAlencia... the 2 gals i hang out with...
they call themselves 'temple friends' because they're buddhist...
they say.. because christian call their friends, christian friends..
wth! so lame lah!.....

tomorrow movie with As... im so excited...
something i no need to squeeze my brain cells for!

lalallalalallalalala states that i love to sing.......

lurve

2007-04-25T11:29:07Z

i sat on the bus today with 2 girls behind me talking about their love life.
how their bf pamper them!!
WTH!....
i envy.

I ALSO WANT

de_vogue @ 2007-04-25T19:04:00

2007-04-25T11:08:52Z

i look so much darker than my sister.
well. she was in my room karaoke-ing the hillsong kids songs.
jesus you're my super hero......etc
she kept licking the mic... and it smells like her saliva now..
uber grossity**

saw jac in school today. its cca day afterall and shes out hunting for people to join FLOORBALL.. i didn't put my name down.
just wanted to comment on her hair...
outrageous colouring of jac jac hair..... ! but it looks fresh lah......

cca day.
i wanted to join tennis.
so i went to the booth today. but guess what. if you have no experience u have to join this beginner class which cost $80...blah blah...
WHO HAS TO LEARN HOW TO SMACK A BALL WITH 80 BUCKS...
so whatever!!!!
roll eyes*
tomorrow im gonna sign up for photography club which is called visual central.
sign up to be a designer, the one who edits with adobe... FORTE
and sign up for VB!
...
as for today..
i signed up with..
badminton
canoe
canoe-polo
swimming
tennis
(i can't remember if i have any others...)
but i anyhow sign up one...
LIKE DUH!..
but now.. i think im more interested in...
vb, visual central, ASc, badminton and canoe...

considering SU.. student union....
all over.. i'll just have 2 cca... these are just the few im looking to...

lectures tmw are gonna be hell sick...
so boring!
long and complicated stuff to listen.

de_vogue @ 2007-04-24T21:52:00

2007-04-24T14:00:25Z

im plugged down in deep doubtful thoughts in the morning.
thats one sentence to confirm.
grandma got admitted to hospital.... suddenly i feel... "its finally my turn.."
i read pris blog about her granny, heard about mimi's granny.. and carol's granny... and now its me..
my grandma made me worried sick. 4am in the morning, there were nurses in my house bringing her to the hospital because of a slight heart attack and aching body pain.
i woke up in the middle of morning and cried on the bed. asking and praying. having doubts and faith at the same time.
its like having both the devil and jesus all in my thoughts and prayers.
bad feeling bad feeling.

today in school. i stoned at lecture wondering what would happen.. wondering how i would face the worst of the worst. i couldn't force a smile even if i did it was so fake.
well, but i guess no one could really see through what im hiding and what im not...
so morning was terrible....
bad premonition!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

for now, grandma is at ICU.
it sounds so scary.. even so after hearing.. AFTER A SURGERY!.
i don't know how i should face death.
im so fake.!

-----------

and study stress is setting in on SECOND DAY OF SCHOOL.
hallelujah!.
A maths and pure bio.
not even combined science bio.. straight to BIO....
well, seriously i have nothing to compare with the rest.... in fact, i have mountains to catch up...
i have no A maths, no pure sciences and a SLOW BRAIN FUNCTIONING SYSTEM.
me and ah xiu are gonna grab each other and slowly drown...
just kidding!

TP has campus crusade.
don't you think its so cool.
...and im going for their freshman tea session next wednesday..
but if its boring.... i'll just leave....

school starts at 1 tmw... and for tmw only...
:)
can sleep longer!...

anyways, do you think raq will join ASc (applied science study club)
do you do you????????

did the template for the class blog.. gawd* i think its so no taste... i rush thru it and ya... thats it.... i can't be bothered to edit or so...
no one seems to be bothered about this blog thing....

tc peeps.. i luv ya...
pray for grandma!!!!!

p.s> i told myself im gonna fast and be a vegetarian...
and i accidentally forgot and ate hotdog bun..
SHIAT*
don't do it again RAQ!.

bye keyboard

2007-04-23T12:00:11Z

in the end, im choosing to drop keyboard lesson having to go for ONLY one lesson...
i feel so depressed about it... what is gonna happen to my keyboard at home? turn to dust and ashes**?????
oh wells, my teacher is really good to me..and im feeling so all the more sad about it..
sometimes when there are too many commitments.. you have to learn to LET GO!!
poor teacher. shes gonna miss me...):
she even wanted to help me do my first demo lah... cause she said im a GOOD GIRL.. you know when people think im good.. i feel so touched... cause usually people call me rebellious, not serious, noctor.(i can't rmb spelling)...balh blah...
XIE XIE LAO SHI!!!!!
I WANT MY FIRST DEMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! );

ok... today school starts. dragged myself out of bed... for the fact that IM SICK and super sickly, its twice as hard to get out of bed.

comm skills lesson today... ?
er.. it was boring in the beginning and ok in the end.
nothing to really stress about... i believe i can express myself well enough and communicate well with others...
YAY*

this is the comm skills teacher... so super cute lah!
clown outfit because... some of us might have a clown that is ready to come out of us.. but it could be a sad or a happy clown..

so tomorrow school starts AT 8am... see me die...
and yay.. APEL lesson in brought forth to 11am..
so school will end at 12 JUST FOR THIS WEEK...
one thing sad is...
8 to 9 is "amaths"

9 to 11 is inorganic chem thing ( i believe its pure science)

11 to 12 is APEL lesson..

HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE????
4 hours striaght of 3 different lesson..
its worst than 4 hours of SS back in sec sch..

OK RAQUEL no complaints..!
its a course that u choose.

ok bye babes and dudes who actually reads my blog...
TC (cause raq is sick!)

p.s.> i cut my hair...

sick! ill !

2007-04-22T11:47:48Z

i thought on staurday i was sickly OKAY.
but i couldn't sleep the whole night because i kept sneezing... and the pain in my throat is SO unbearable...
theres school tomorrow. FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL... and i dun wanna be sick AT ALL!

de_vogue @ 2007-04-21T23:49:00

2007-04-21T15:57:51Z

i just log on the comp not long....
super tired.... but im waiting for my hair to dry..

back from gb today.
well. its a totally tiring day... and i went gb super HALF DEAD.. because the day before was orientation... and i didn't have much sleep as i slept at 2++++....
so other than talking about the orientation theres no place i can get high on... SERIOUSLY...
most of the time im actually cheering for AS or BLACK PEARL...
maybe im just trying to distract my thought from feeling all restless cause its the whole day of GB!!!
OMG!!!..
but after talking with some juniors...i really felt it was worthwhile to be back serving...
at least, i felt as though i can be a person where they find reliance in sharing their problems and thoughts.... you know you know?..

i was the IC today.. and today was awards ceremony.
i didn't screw anything up today...
not doing role call and vesper for so long... i felt SO BLOODY WEIRD doing it...
i felt so lost at everything...
anywya, like i said.... i dind't screw anything up today....
i took up julie's role today BECAUSE SHE FELL ILL AGAIN!!!
its like she falls ill so easily thats why she never turn up for gb..
sometimes i do feel very unfair that when julie is sick..she can easily not come for gb... but as for me, when im sick i have to pull and push myself to go for gb... if i don't.. i have to go thru the suspicion that im lying because im creating excuse not to attend gb....
you know you know.!

don't wanna talk about that anymore...

rather i wanna speak about school RE-OPENING!..
monday school will start and i hope everything goes well...!

my parents agreed on me getting a laptop. well, and i'll just pick the cheapest anyway the life span of a laptop is not long and the cheapest has the functions that i don't really understand...
ohwells, actually its not the cheapest.
HAH!...

and when i just reached home today.
AS PER NORMAL, my parents talked to me about gb again.. somehow, when i come home late and all drained out from gb they think its toally not worth my time and effort...
so they told me... when school starts... STOP GOING GB..!
i wonder why i actually beg them to let me stay.... it really sounds ridiculous...
I REALLY DONT KNOW WHY!...
i get to face this family pressure and in GB sometimes i don't really find myself enjoying my time and getting to handle sticky situation when i just actually don't have to....and what i ultimately get... is getting hurt and being reminded or told by others than im not serious and blah....
well. its like........
u think if i ever try... will there even be a change...
situations and mentality will just stay the same - sticky situation...
i would really love to ponder the spiritual way and use all of God's strength to overcome these..... but the more it continues... i feel so damned stress about it....and the more im letting God's hand slide away.
Is silience a way to settle all these through...?

oh wells, i think its getting late and im getting emo!
its weird to type all these down when i know junior will sure to read all these... but just to let you all know... even seniors face stress and problems that needs a lot of thinking to sorten things out....
so ya...
im starting not to know what im actually typing.

hair is almost dried.. gonna sleep... i feel like a dead zombie getting EMO ...
goner!

okay.. thats all...
bye for tonight!